Sitting on the Ledge
by NatalyaShae
Summary: It was selfish, Harry knew, but it was also selfish of people to expect him to live just so that they could have an easy conscious. Harry supposed, that the only one who had a right to deny him his own right to end his life would be ironically Snape. But Harry needn't worry, though..."Mr. Potter" then again


Sitting on the ledge

A one shot where Snape talks Harry out of jumping from the astronomy tower…kind of cheesy…no all that great…but, it's 'okay'.

Harry sat on a ledge of the astronomy tower looking up at the sky. His legs swung back and forth, his heels kicking the wall. It was about two o'clock in the morning. He could hear the owls in the distance, the crickets, and some howling from the forbidden forest. It was peaceful…unlike his thoughts.  
When all was said and done, Harry was tired. He was tired of people accusing him of things and being someone he wasn't. He was tired of his relatives calling him a freak, and trying to 'stomp' the magic out of him. He was tired of living in his fathers shadow. Tired of being not good enough. Tired of being pushed to be a martyr. He, Harry James Potter, was just tired of being…  
It was selfish, Harry knew, but it was also selfish of people to expect him to live just so that they could have an easy conscious. Harry supposed, that the only one who had a right to deny him his own right to end his life would be ironically Snape. But Harry needn't worry, though. It wasn't like the greasy git, who happened to be his mothers' best friend only to spite Harry because of his bully of a father would just somehow know that Harry planned to off himself tonight and come and talk him down.  
"Mr. Potter" a silky voice calls neutrally. Then again…  
Harry looked over his shoulder and saw Snape standing directly behind him with his arms crossed looking at him like he was a rare ingredient he needed to study before using. Harry hummed softly.  
"It's a nice night, tonight." Harry stated. He was rather surprised when he noticed Snape actually spare the sky a glance.  
"It is." Snape concurred just barely above a whisper. Of course, the one man that could deny Harry his freedom just happened to walk up to the astronomy tower during the Halloween feast, which every teacher was required to attend.  
"Why are you up here, sir?" Harry asks. Snape stared directly at him.  
"The better question, Mr. Potter, is why are you?" Snape countered. Harry couldn't help but noticed that Snape hadn't snapped or made a snide remark, not even his tone was hostile or hateful like normal. Harry turned back to the sky.  
"I believe you already know…" Harry hummed softly enjoying the view.  
"No, I know what you plan to do, but not the why" Snape corrected, shifting only slightly closer to the suicidal teen. Harry frowned.  
"And how do you even know that? No one knew…I haven't told anyone, not even Ron or Hermione" Harry voices his own confusion. It was either his extremely bad luck that Snape found out or-  
"You are not the first student who has either attempted or succeeded in suicide, Mr. Potter. Nor are you the first to think of using the Astronomy tower as your means to achieve such ending" Snape explained. Harry chuckled.  
"You know, Prof., I wasn't going to come up here…I was going to go down to the Chamber of Secrets…but…I've always enjoyed flying" Harry states a bit solemnly. Snape tensed slightly at the revelation. If Potter had gone down to the Chamber, then there wouldn't have been any way for him to get to the boy. Perhaps he was lucky the boy was sentimental.  
"Why tonight?" Snape asks suddenly. Harry turned so that he was sitting sideways on the ledge and was leaning back against the pillar. Harry supposed he owed some sort of explanation to the man who had literally saved his life since before he was even born.  
"Everything happens on Halloween, I suppose. A more accurate point would be that my parents were murdered on Halloween…" Harry shrugged. Snape tilted his head in acknowledgement.  
"What gave me away?" Harry asks. Snape raised an eyebrow. "Sir" Harry added as an afterthought. Snape shook his head slightly, that wasn't why he had raised an eyebrow.  
"If you are asking what gave you away as suicidal?" Snape questioned getting a small nod as a reply, "then, everything." Snape states simply. Harry frowned.  
"And yet you are the only one to notice. So, there has to be something specific that you saw that no one else did…no one else has led to the conclusion of my…present…attempt at offing myself, sir." Harry responds, making it known that he wasn't off the ledge just yet. Snape acknowledged the warning by stepping a tad closer and sighing.  
"There is always a cause for why people decide to 'off themselves' as you so eloquently put it. The reasons are so simple that they are complex in their own right. The problem is recognizing just how far someone will go to make all of it stop…or to get someone to notice enough to help." Snape states. Harry stared at Snape, listening. Snape took an audible deep breath before continuing.  
"You, Mr. Potter, have fooled everyone around you. You are not happy, you are not okay, nor are you fine. Your expression tells me this. Every now and again, you seem to be lost in thought. When you are, your steps are less confident and you take shorter strides. There are many variables as to what this could mean but for you, Mr. Potter, it s quite clear to me that you are…upset. Unlike other students, Mr. Potter, I am quite aware that you have many reasons for this, and that you've put quite a bit of thought into this. But you've missed the most obvious solution" Snape trails off. Harry didn't know if he should be glad that Snape didn't think he was just going to off himself merely because he was upset or if he should be wary of what ever Snape was planning, because surely the Potions Master wasn't about to just watch or let Harry throw himself off the tower.  
"And what would that be, sir?" Harry asks, truly curious. Snape, Harry was startled to realize, was a mere step away from him. SO when Snape place his hand on Harry's shoulder that was facing the man, Harry immediately tensed and slightly panicked. But Snape didn't move to pull him off the ledge, he merely rested his hand on Harry's shoulder…and that spoke volumes to Harry.  
"It gets better, Mr. Potter, just give it time" Snape spoke clearly and was very serious. And Harry trusted Snape. Why? Because Snape never lied to him, never sugar coated anything and sure as hell never told him fantasies about reality. Harry stared at his prof and nodded.  
"How many times have you told a student this to get him…'off the ledge'? Harry asks. Snape was silent for a moment.  
"The Headmaster told it to me" Snape stated. Harry met Snape's gaze and held it for quite sometime. Slowly, Harry climbed off the ledge and stood hesitantly next to Snape.  
"I'm sorry, sir" Harry whispered. Snape gripped his shoulder tighter.  
"I expect you to come and talk to me before you do something like this again…or if you just need to." Snape comments. Harry stared at the man in shock, that he would offer…Harry felt something wet trail down his cheek and whipped it with his fingers. He stared at the wetness on his fingers, confused for a moment. Snape watched with a pained expression.  
"That, Mr. Potter, are tears" Snape explained. Harry nodded.  
"I know, I…I just never cried before…at least not that I remember" Harry explained. Snape frowned before nodding in understanding.  
"Are you going to tell…the Headmaster, or anyone else?" Harry asks. He didn't want to deal with he repercussion of this. Sitting on a ledge talking to his Prof. didn't seem like a very good suicide attempt, actually, it didn't seem like one at all. It seemed remarkably…cheesy now that Harry thought about it.  
"The headmaster and your head of house will need to know. Unlike every other secret at Hogwarts, the school will not 'naturally' know by morning." Snape grunted with a slight roll of his eyes that Harry would've missed had it not been for the fact that he had glanced at the man at the right time. Harry still gulped but nodded nonetheless.  
"But…why do they have to know? I won't do it again…I promise" Harry realized he sounded like he was begging like a child but…Snape stopped them from walking any further, which Harry hadn't even realized they had started.  
"Mr. Potter, I understand your reluctance, however, despite your promise, these type of thoughts don't just magic themselves away. And while I know that you hold your word highly, how can you care if you're dead? This is why they must be informed. While I will be keeping a better eye on you, Min- Professor McGonagall will need to also, as well as put up extra wards to prevent such…attempts while in the Gryffindor dorms. The headmaster for the same reason" Snape explained. Great, just what Harry needed, two more adults treating him as if he were made of glass. Then again, if he decided that he was going to off himself and not talk to Snape first, he could always go to the Chamber…or wait until he got to the Dursley's. They'd be thrilled at the idea.  
"You realize, Mr. Potter, that you just spoke out loud?" Snape remarked dryly. Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what to say but Snape saved him –yet again- by pushing him forward to continue walking again.  
"By the way, Mr. Potter, twenty points from Gryffindor for missing a mandatory meal" Snape remarked. Harry almost grinned; Snape was still Snape after all. Almost being the operative word. While it was nice to know that the man cared about him enough notice something wrong with him and act on it, it was more of a relief that the man was still the same and not changing around him.  
'It gets better, just give it time' Harry thought back to what Snape had told him…it still didn't seem like it but…he'd be patient, he owed Snape that much.  
Snape had escorted him to the Gryffindor common entrance. The Potions Master made it quite clear that he had access to the dorms by giving the fat lady the password. Harry had only gulped and nodded at the warning. He made his way through the portrait hole after murmuring a 'goodnight' to his professor. No sooner had he entered was he tackled by Hermione and an equally worried Ron who clapped his shoulder. Harry felt guilty. He was close…and his friends were right here, who'd been with him since the start.  
"Harry, where were you?"  
"Yeah, mate, we were worried sick about you!" Ron followed up. Harry stared at them for a moment before coming to a conclusion.  
"There's something I got to tell you guys…" Harry says pulling them over to the couch.  
By morning, Harry had his own personal 'Potter Guard' consisting of all his friends. Harry literally couldn't go to the bathroom by himself. He wasn't even 'allowed' to go to the third corridor where Moaning Myrtles bathroom was. The teachers that were told of his attempt seemed slightly relieved that his friends were watching out for him. This didn't mean that they didn't keep an eye out of him, but, it wasn't so noticeable that Malfoy or any of his enemies found out what happened.

Harry blinked twice before sighing. The twins, like all those years ago, were outside his bared window in their dad's flying car. They weren't alone this time though, Mr. Weasley was driving.  
"Hiya Harry-"  
"Didn't think we'd leave you-''  
"Here with those muggles did you?" The twins ask. Harry vaguely recalled accidently telling Snape that his relatives would be thrilled at the idea if he offed himself. Now, seeing the Weasley's, he wondered if his mothers' best friend had anything to do with this.  
"No, of course not. I just didn't think you'd fly a car again" Harry states grinning non the less. The twins and Ron all shared a mischievous look before turning back to him and grinning.  
Harry didn't even look back as they flew away form his relative's house. He was looking forward to spending time at the Burrow. He was glad Snape saved him from himself…but he was still felt 'safe' with the fact that he still had at least one escape where no one could if he truly wanted to. After all, only he was able to enter the Chamber of Secrets.  
THE END


End file.
